Only A Physician Can Commit Homicide With Impunity

And I swear I saw Joe’s eyes roll to the back of his head.

Saturday morning I had to go to the doctor’s office to get some blood drawn. Getting stuck 8 times because the nurses couldn’t find a vein is a ton of fun!

Today Joe took me back to the doctor’s to pick up some prescriptions and my doctor, dressed in his usual bright shirt and pink flamingo tie asked if I could come into his office for a minute. There were no empty seats in the waiting room so I told Joe to come with (BIG MISTAKE!!). 

Dr. Rocha: Are you Ms. Robinson’s boyfriend?

Joe: Yeah.

Dr. Rocha: Good then you might want to hear this.

Me: Huh.

Dr. Rocha: Ms. Robinson you’re pregnant.

What kind of fuckery is that doc? There is absolutely no way in hell that I’m pregnant. I knew that. Joe didn’t know that. All he knew was we hadn’t had sex before so it had to be someone elses baby. He just set in the corner just stared.

Me: That is wrong. I’m not pregnant.

Dr. Rocha: That’s what the test says.

Me: Can I see?

*I’m pretty sure I snatched the file from his hand*

I looked at it and looked at him.

Me: I’ve been coming here for 3 years and you still don’t know my name? Tara Robinson is pregnant, not me.

This doctor’s office has always been unprofessional but it’s the only one that accepts my insurance. I am very surprised that Joe just sat there and didn’t leave. He’s kinda a good guy.

The craziest thing is I know who Tara Robinson is and she is two years younger than me. She is not going to be happy.